Millennial Parenting 101: Support

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Hello! Welcome! Welcome!! Welcome!!!

It is the month of MARCH!!! I am excited and expectant! Here is to praying that you have an amazing purposeful month and that you’ll end the first quarter of the year with a B-A-N-G!!!

If this is your first time here, I welcome you to the DDB (Destination Destiny Blog) family! You’ll love it here, get ready to be inspired and empowered to live your best life!

To those that come back here consistently, I love you all, thanks for the support!

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Today will be the last installment of my Millennial Parenting 101 series, over the last few weeks we have been talking about the four S’s of millennial parenting: Structure, Scheduling, Spontaneity, today we will be talking about Support!

In my first post on structure, I stated that one of the challenges for millennial parents is having support. In the past, men went out to work while women stayed home to take care of the children.  Millennials are working-class professionals, entrepreneurs, creatives, in summary, we are go-getters! These days, even if we’re at home, they are most likely working or learning remotely. This coupled with social distancing and virtual or homeschooling can be quite overwhelming.

Find Your Tribe

Our support system may look a bit differently, but it is still available. Our village that helps to raise our children may take different forms, but it is still essential. One difference with our village or should I say ‘tribe’? (“that’s more new school”) is that they can be online. We are in the knowledge generation, we have so much information available at the tip of our fingers. You can find your tribe by a simple search in your internet browser.

My dad calls millennial moms, google moms (laughs), when I have a concern or question, my natural instinct is to search on google or Youtube (I am sure some of you can relate). I also have fellow moms that I can compare notes with and older moms that can teach me timeless tricks. As a millennial parent, you need a tribe to help, encourage and pray with you. There are online support groups, use your social media platforms to get what you need. If you having an issue with something, I pretty sure that you’re not the only one in that boat. You can start a small group yourself, messaging apps and social media groups are great options to collectively share and learn.

Delegating & Outsourcing

Another important tip for the millennial parent is to learn how to delegate and outsource! You do not have to do it all by yourself! When I discovered that I could outsource some tasks, it set me free and lessen the feeling of being overwhelmed. As I type now, I have two lovely ladies cleaning my house. Keeping the house clean with three children has been quite challenging; and when the house is messy, it stresses me out. I used to feel so bad for not being able to keep my house clean. I would wake up bright and early to go to work, return home exhausted, then I’d have to put on my mummy and wife hat, and any other hat as the day unfolded…pastor, daughter, sister, friend, etc.

By the time I took off my last hat for the day, my house would look like a disaster and I wouldn’t know how or when to start. I would keep postponing my start day until the weekend hit and everywhere would be a hot mess. As a pastor, I also work on weekends. Saturdays are for preparing for church service, and then Sunday mornings are for church service (we also have weekday services, meetings, etc.), at times, it pretty much feeling like there are no days off! But we move because purpose must be fulfilled and we count it a privilege to serve God’s people. After Sunday services, all I want to do is eat, chill and nap.

I am no longer pressuring myself to be a superwoman. It does not make me less of a woman to cater my food, clean my house, get my clothes dry cleaned, get a nanny or a babysitter from time to time. As millennial parents, we need to understand that rest is apart of success. Being stressed out and burnt out will negatively impact our parenting. Our children need us to be present and healthy more than anything.

Now when it comes to cleaning, I no longer feel stressed. On most nights before bed, I do the basics, I sort out the dishes, wipe down surfaces, clean the floors and keep it moving. I am also all for simplifying my life when it comes to basic tasks: using the dishwasher, purchasing an i-robot to use for cleaning the floors, meal prep, using gadgets that can simplify the cooking process (i.e. an instant pot, an air fryer, etc.)

If you are married, you can also have honest discussions with your spouse about how and when you need their help. For example, while I clean in the evenings, my husband puts the children to bed. On some days, he may not be available and I may have to double up, but we give each other a break and appreciate one another when things go smoothly. I used to struggle with asking for and receiving help, even when friends or family asked I would say I was fine. Even if you are not married, you can still find someone to help, as long as they are trustworthy.

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That’s all folks! I hope this series was helpful and informative! I would love your feedback. Is there any other aspect of parenting that you’d like for me to write about?

For the rest of this month, we will be talking about MARRIAGE! I am welcome to suggestions!

Thanks for stopping by, don’t leave without saying hi in the comment section!!

Much love DDB fam!

– Your girl, Bunmi Adebiyi

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