Healthy Relationships in All Seasons

Hey family! It has been a while! How was June? June has been EVENT-FULL for me! Every week has been filled with activities. Overall, it has been a good month; no complaints!

This month, I was intentional about reconnecting with old friends and family and stewarding current relationships. A couple of months ago, it hit me that I had not been investing in my social capital. I knew many people but was not good at keeping in touch. It takes much more than commenting on and liking someone’s social media post to sustain a healthy relationship.

While I love my personal space and my own company, I came to the realization that the life I was created to live required connecting with people more. There is no impact without a vital connection. Now, it wasn’t easy; I kept trying to fight the nudge from God to be more involved in the lives of the people with whom he has connected me to.

I genuinely love people; I love doing life with purpose-driven and goal-oriented people. I love being used as a catalyst to aid people in living God’s dream life for them. In the past, I preferred to connect with people on my own terms, and I was selectively available. I was not antisocial, but my heart was incredibly soft, which was my unconscious strategy to protect myself from hurt, disappointment, drama, etc. 

When my Spiritual Father came around a couple of months ago, we had a heart-to-heart conversation, and at the end, he prayed that God would enlarge my heart supernaturally. He told me that this prayer had helped him in dealing with people. That conversation was life-changing; it was exactly what I needed at that moment.

Since then, I have made sure to go above and beyond to show people that I love them. Love is powerful; as my father in the Lord says, no one can successfully resist love. Honestly, many people’s love bank is on E! It doesn’t cost much to show people that you love them. It can be done with simple eye-to-eye contact during a conversation, a phone call to see how they are doing, a text message to compliment them, asking them specific questions, assisting them with a task, or meeting one of their needs.

Blog family, if you haven’t said it before! I TRULY LOVE YOU!!! Thank you for doing life with me and believing in my gift. I am always thrilled when I get feedback. Your comments go a long way!

In this season, those you keep around you are so important. Don’t be tempted to cut people off prematurely! Often, the people you need in this journey of destiny don’t look like it; they sometimes will disappoint you and hurt you but don’t give up on them. I learned this early in ministry, NEVER GIVE UP ON PEOPLE!!! 

Patience is essential when it comes to dealing with people. Everyone is a work in progress; everyone is in a different stage or phase of their lives. When you are patient at loving them through it all, those friendships become a great blessing. This does not mean trapping yourself in unhealthy or toxic relationships…that is a NO-NO! But certain relationships are for a reason or a lifetime, and you need their purpose to be fulfilled so you can become all you were created to be and vice versa. 

Healthy relationships require honest communication! Sometimes, people struggle in silence while the other party is left clueless. Every great relationship requires understanding and acceptance from all parties. You also have to clarify the relationship’s purpose; it helps manage expectations. It makes things easier if you are clear about the reason for that person’s place in your life.

Everyone wants to benefit from their relationships. No one wants to feel neglected or like they’re constantly giving of themselves and resources without anything in return. Nor does anyone want to be in a relationship with someone who is extremely needy. In the case of a needy person, it will be hard to please them because they will have unrealistic expectations of the other party. If you find that you are needy and easily dissatisfied in relationships, check yourself and get to the root of it. Different relationships serve different purposes. 

I can’t stress the importance of having honest conversations to clear the air and avoid assumptions. A few months ago, I reconnected with an old friend, and it was eye-opening to find out that she had been upset with me and felt like I was not there for her when she needed her. I felt terrible! When we discussed all the details, she could hear my side and understood what had happened. I see her consistently, and she has been a blessing to me in numerous ways! I thank God that we could move past that hurdle. 

I’ve also reconnected with some extended family members this month. It is just amazing how, after months and years have passed and people have matured and moved on with their lives, those things that were once a big deal are no longer an issue! It was like old times, and it felt good to rekindle a relationship with a loved one! The saying “blood is thicker than water” rings in my mind as I type! Blood here does not have to be biological, by the way…we will talk about this another day!

But here is my challenge to YOU, forgive! Believe in love again! Trust God to bring you into the right relationships, and put your best foot forward when he does. Everyone that connects with you ought to be a better person for it. Don’t give up on people; you can be the missing link to their greatness/ Trust God for the wisdom to correctly perceive the reason for why he brings certain people your way.

I hope this post inspired you to make the best of each relationship you find yourself in! Life is precious and having the right people in your life makes a world of difference.

I look forward to hearing from you! Hit me up via email or in the comment section, and let’s chat!

With lots of love,

– Bunmi Adebiyi

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