Hello Family, we are halfway through 2022! Thank God for life! How was the first half of 2022 for you?
For me, the first half of 2022 was busy (what’s new?) but good. Towards the end of the first half of the year, I experienced some fantastic clarity about some things that had been on my heart for some time. It was a huge relief, and it felt so good to be free!
I just finished working on my schedule for the next three months and concluded that I need a personal assistant. My life can be described as “Booked and Busy.” I’ve been so preoccupied that I’ve skipped meals recently. Good food is one of my love languages, so that is so unlike me. This week I had to strategize and work on a new structure to accommodate my new and somewhat unpredictable schedule.
No complaints, though; I thank God for all the opportunities that have come my way…from speaking engagements to writing projects. God is good!
A few days ago, while sitting in the living room with my family, I had a moment. I had a deep feeling of fulfillment, and I said to myself, “I love my life!” You don’t understand how much of a testimony that was; a couple of months ago, my feelings were everywhere. I was not happy about some things, and I was on the verge of frustration.
From that moment, I made up my mind to enjoy every single day. I am turning my stressors into appreciation sessions, refusing to complain, and seeing the beauty in every season. Join me! Which stressor are you going to turn into an appreciation session? Are you going to stoping complaining about your job? Children? Finances? Relationship status? Car? Home? Let me know in the comment section!
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Last month was Mental Health Awareness month. Over the last few years, we’ve heard so much about mental health all across the board. You hear people talking about self-care or having a soft life everywhere you turn. It is finally dawning upon people that there are more important things to focus on than allowing unnecessary stress and drama to weigh them down.
Today, I will be talking about what I call my ‘therapy hacks.’ Disclaimer, I have absolutely nothing against therapy. I am all for Godly counsel; I’ve benefited from it repeatedly from pastors, mentors, and other believers. I am all for anointed Christian counselors. I’ve also had the privilege to counsel people as a pastor and mentor.
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
Proverbs 12:15 ESV
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 11:14 ESV
Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 15:22 ESV
In the same vein, I also believe that we can create atmospheres around us that encourage appreciation, healthy self-analysis, and self-love. Furthermore, If you are a believer, you have the ultimate counselor living on your inside (John 14:16 AMP). Because of my multidimensional life as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, pastor, mentor, writer, etc. I had to devise a way to ensure that I was living the life of my dreams instead of allowing life to pass me by.
Here are my therapy hacks…
- Me time: I used to feel guilty when I just wanted to be alone—no husband, no children, no cell phone, no emails, etc. One day I was listening to a podcast that featured a power couple. The woman kept talking about how she wanted to be her very best in every area of her life as a minister, mother, author, designer, and speaker and how those feelings would overwhelm her at times. His response was mind-blowing. He said that he has noticed that she is the best version of herself when she takes that off to rest and rejuvenates. She was also shocked; it was a word for me.
- So now, I look for pockets throughout the day to be alone
- I realized that I was designed to spend time in solitude so that I could be refreshed continuously
- A tired, overwhelmed, and a frustrated person can never put their best foot forward
- At times, I take power naps
- At times, I daydream
- At times, it is miscellaneous – googling my dream vacation spots, indulging in love stories, and watching comedy skits.
- Aromatherapy: While growing up, I never cared for scents. I was pretty much carefree. A couple of years ago, I started seeing a correlation between scent and how I feel. I am extremely sensitive to smell. If something does not smell good, it will irritate me. However, when the smell is great, it puts me in a good mood.
- I am a soft smell type of girl
- I love floral scents, vanilla, amber, sandalwood
- I invested in an essential oil diffuser and scented candles
- Whenever I need a pick me up or when I am working on a major project, I’d just light a candle, and my creative juices would flow
- Scheduling: I am a natural administrator. I plan everything in advance, from special occasions to meals! Lately, my scheduling skills have had to be revisited. I had to factor in different aspects of my life so that nothing would be neglected.
- Lately, scheduling emails in advance has saved my life! I’ve always seen the option on Gmail but would ignore it, but NOW it is a wrap!
- I schedule times when I can meet with people to give them undivided attention. If you call me and I am in the middle of something, I will set a more convenient time if it is not urgent.
- I break down my schedule in a way to ensure that I am present during meetings or whatever it is that I am involved in; multitasking does not always have to be the order of the day.
- I have developed the art of negotiation; I don’t have to be everywhere at the same time; I don’t have to be everything to everyone at the same time; so now I focus on what God wants me to do at the time, I can now say no, not now, or not that way.
- I now schedule fun time with my family – I always have so many things calling for my attention, and I never want to neglect my family to pursue destiny. My second born said something a few weeks ago that served as a wake-up call. She was talking to her older sister and said, “Mommy never plays with us because she is always working; I can’t wait until daddy goes home.” She said it innocently, but it hit me. I needed to pay attention to it and act fast!
- Podcasts: About a year or so ago, I was listening to an interview with a woman that I admire so much. She spoke about how what you listen to is key to having success in life. She went on to say that she listens to something that inspires her every three hours. What! That’s what you call intentionality and discipline!
- I started with listening to one sermon per day.
- And then I fell in love with podcasts; at times, I’ll just look for something that would motivate me. I love real stories; I love practical wisdom.
- I have several podcasts on rotation, and this has been a gamechanger
- Listen to people of like minds, listening to those who have made it in the paths you are threading; it is so inspirational.
- Exercise: Naturally I don’t like exercise, on most mornings I have to force myself. But I love the way I feel after each session.
- Exercise is not only for those trying to lose weight; it is part of a healthy lifestyle.
- Exercise is also a stress reliever; it reduces stress hormones and stimulates the production of endorphins.
- Endorphins are considered natural painkillers; they make you feel good when released.
- I exercise 4-5 days a week for at least 20 minutes, although my doctor told me to increase it to 30-40 minutes to facilitate weight loss faster.
- Get moving! Move your body! It can be a simple walk or a daily dance party in your home.
- Music: I learned this one from my father in the Lord. A few years ago, he preached a message and stated how he has different types of playlists for various purposes. The truth is, at times, life happens, and words fail you. You may not even know how or what to pray. But you can never miss it with worship. Some songs take you on journeys, songs that lift your spirit and restore your soul.
- I love music! Music is therapeutic; it is powerful!
- I am selective with the songs I listen to because music is much more than choruses and beats; it is a vehicle that can take you into various realms.
- I am more concerned about the spirit behind the songs than the artist’s talent.
- I have songs that bring me to my knees and cause tears to flow unrestricted from my eyes.
- I have songs that will make me dance until I am soaked with sweat.
- I have songs that fuel the hopeful romantic in…yes, I love clean love songs!
- Heart to Heart Conversations: This!!! I just finished having one with my father in heaven and I feel light.
- At times we become professional in our conversations with God, we make it a monologue where we tell him what we think he wants to hear.
- He just wants us to keep it real, come as you are, be sincere, and don’t sugar code anything.
- This is how to attract help, humble yourself. After all, he knows it all. He is the answer, he is the solution.
- In these times, I am vulnerable, I am not afraid to share my feelings of fear, insecurity, or ask questions.
- I cast my cares and receive answers. Sometimes the answer is peace or clarity in a particular direction. At times, it is a time of encouragement and a reminder of who I am.
You owe it to yourself to rest and recover. You owe it to yourself to prioritize your total well-being, spirit, soul, and body. Just like babies learn to self-soothe, you can create a system of rest. Unplugging from the noise, focusing on yourself, and ensuring that you are truly happy and fulfilled. That’s the soft life; that’s what you call living your best life; that is what it means to live the life of your dreams!
“Hack” your life so that you’ll have eternal peace and experience success at all times. Being a workaholic doesn’t do anyone good. Don’t lose yourself in the process of chasing your dreams. You need the best version of you to make your dreams come true.
With lots of love,
– Bunmi Adebiyi
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