Married Life:The Spectrum of Love

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Hello DDB family!!! I hope you are well! Thank you for visiting the blog today!

Is this your first time here? Yay, welcome!!! Join the family by subscribing to the blog and following us on social media! Some great things are loading for the DDB family in the next couple of weeks, and you can not afford to miss it!

My sincere apologies for not posting yesterday. It was a busy day filled with deadlines, meetings, and a lot of planning for an upcoming church program.

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I genuinely hope that you all have been enjoying the Married Life series! So much has been said, and I pray that people will fall in love with the institution of marriage again! For those that are married, your marriage is worth fighting for! For those that are single, marriage is still a good idea!

Marriage is God’s master plan! Marriage can be enjoyed! Marriage is designed to be one of the most fulfilling relationships in your life. Your marriage ought to inspire and empower you to live a life of significance. Marriage is a strategic partnership saddled with the responsibility to make the world a better place; by fulfilling God’s divine plan. Your marriage will play out according to your level of commitment to it. You can allow things to run by chance (bad choice!), or you can be intentional about having a good marriage!

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There were many shifts that I had to make to ensure that I enjoyed my marriage. The initial shift began in my mind. I realized that my thought life was corrupt. It was polluted with all the negativity that I had accumulated due to disappointments, unresolved issues, and unspoken displeasures. The not-so-good parts of my marriage blinded me, and I could not see that things were not too bad. I was overly emotional and quick to compare my situation to other couples that seemed to have it all together…you know, picture-perfect, in sync, deeply in love, etc.

I later discovered that I was not alone in my struggle; challenges in marriage are common to all. God directed me to someone that I could confide in, a good friend that I knew would understand and speak some sense into me. It was not an elongated conversation filled with husband-bashing. It was an honest plea for help, a desire for Godly wisdom to navigate that phase. And she was so generous; she listened, gave advice, and encouraged me. Like a breath of fresh air, I was relieved. Shout out to my sis LA! I love you so much!

God also led me to youtube videos of Christian couples who openly shared their stories and gave advice. Hearing their stories and seeing how far they’ve come was intriguing. By seeing their lovey dovey posts on social media would never have hinted that they had struggles (the deception of social media). We really need to appreciate people who sacrifice their privacy to help others. It is a huge sacrifice! I was happy! my marriage was not an anomaly! I no longer felt guilty for being a Christian and having marriage issues. 

Like an overnight success story, things got better. We began to understand each other. Our communication became effective; I learned to communicate my intentions instead of my emotions. As we know, emotions are fickle, and they can’t always be trusted. Then our arguments decreased. I was no longer blinded; I began to see him for his heart and not his flaws. I began to celebrate progress and gave up on the pressure for perfection. Like my mentor, Pastor Funke, says, “Divorce your mind, husband!” Before we get married, we usually have this tremendous vision for our marriage and how perfect our spouses will be. After getting married, we see that our dream husband (spouse) is developed, not automated. The battle begins, mind husband versus real-life husband, and the mind husband usually looks more appealing and appears to be the one winning!

As I end this series today, I want you to know that marriage is worth it. If you allow God to lead you to your spouse, you can trust him to keep you with your spouse. Marriage is a beautiful journey; as you work on it and develop yourself as an individual, it gets progressively delightful.

Have fun in your marriage! Laugh more! Hang out! Share your dreams together! Don’t take married life too seriously (it is a big deal by all means, but it is not a prison sentence); one of the key purposes for marriage is companionship! There is less pressure in companionship, forgiveness is easier, and expectations are managed effectively.

Thanks for reading! Don’t leave without commenting and sharing the post!

With lots of love,

– Bunmi Adebiyi

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