Married Life: A Journey of a thousand miles

Hello DDB family! Welcome to the blog today!

I hope your week is off to a GREAT start!

Is this your first time here? I want to especially welcome you to this amazing space! You will leave here inspired and empowered to live the life of your wildest dreams!

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Today is my 8th Wedding Anniversary!!! Wow, where did the time go? It sounds cliche but seriously, time flew by! 8 years ago today we made a decision to stick together through the thick and thin, ups and downs, good and bad! I thank God that we did not throw in the towel during the thin, downs, and not-so-good days. We truly can not take credit for making it last so far, it has been God all the way, every single day, he has been orchestrating every single step!

Marriage done right, is a marriage that is submitted to God’s plan and way. If an iota of selfishness attempts to creep in, the couple begins to veer off in the wrong direction. It is a process, it takes time and intentionality. It is a daily decision that demands corresponding actions. Many couples find themselves in a dilemma because they make the mistake of counting time instead of steps. As it is commonly said, “The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.”

I remember the first 2-3 years of our marriage, I secretly wondered what the hype was about. At the back of my mind, I believed that all the happily married couples were faking it! I told myself that it was only a selected few that were truly happy. I began to weigh my options, Do I stay? or Do I go? Staying didn’t sound like much fun, but deep down, I knew going wasn’t the best solution.

Seeking counsel from our spiritual parents and intentionally praying to God about our marriage was the turning point. Before that time, I realized that instead of praying to get solutions, I was complaining to God. I would go on and on about how things were not working as if it was God’s fault. One day while talking to God, he told me “The reason why your husband is like that is because you have not been praying for him!” 

Those words shook me to my bones! Wow, I instantly ran out of complaints. God was right (of course he was, he is always right!) It dawned on me that there was power embedded in the act of prayer to turn things around even in my MARRIAGE!!! I no longer had to settle or accept the present circumstances as my reality. 

Prayer Changes Everything!

It was so easy to see my husband in the light of his shortcomings. I had bundled up so much pain, animosity, and disappointment in my heart; praying for him was a massive chore. It took every ounce of my strength to push past the heartache and invest in the future of our marriage through prayer.

I did not know what to say or how to start. But I knew that something had to be done, so I turned the battle over to the mighty warrior. I leaned on the Holy Spirit because I was rendered speechless on my own accord. My husband was not a bad person, he was kind, I knew he loved me but I was unfulfilled. I was tired of sounding like a broken record. I didn’t want an ordinary marriage, I wanted bliss and I refused to settle. 

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In my attempt to push the envelope, I was indirectly pushing my husband to the wall. I meant well but my attempts were too aggressive. My intentions were good but my approach was wrong. When I calmed down enough to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, he gave me cues on what to do, how to do it, what to say, and how to say it. It was not easy because the spirit was always willing but mehn, the flesh! Urg! In those moments of weakness, I would misfire, have to muster up the courage to apologize, then pick myself up and try again.

Even when I felt like I had failed and disappointed God, he would continue to cheer me on. I found solace in knowing that I was making progressive despite my mistakes along the way. My husband also began to make adjustments, I had to learn to appreciate his efforts instead of horn in on the desired results. Patience indeed is key! Patience is not the absence of action, it is the drive to persist when it appears that nothing is changing until everything begins to align. 

I give God all the credit for making it to Y-E-A-R 8!!! We are still a work in progress, however, we’ve learned to celebrate the progress thus far, have serious conversations, and laugh at the setbacks. We refuse to give up or back down! Jesus is coming soon, we will rock this union until he shows up! (hahahaaa)  

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A special shout out to the best church members in the universe! Our church family went above and beyond to celebrate us! They surprised us with a celebration after Sunday’s church service, lavished us with gifts, and shared kind words from their hearts. I am truly overwhelmed! Marriage works! When God is at the center of your union, it will impact those around you!

Celebrate with us in the comment section! Like the post, share the post, subscribe to the blog, and follow us on all social media platforms!!!

To be continued…

With lots of love,

– Bunmi Adebiyi

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