Hello everyone, how are you doing??? I truly hope that your week is going well so far!
If you are new here, welcome! If this is not your first time, I love you, thanks for coming back again and again, you are my family! If you are not already, I encourage you to join this family and be inspired and empowered to convert your wildest dreams into your present hour reality!
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I’ve dedicated this month to talk about marriage! This is an exclusive series for single folks titled “Marching into Marriage”. I desire that those who are looking forward to marriage will be equipped to make the right decision prior and enjoy marital bliss long after saying “I do”. If you haven’t done so already check out the other blog posts in this series: Single Seasons I & Single Seasons II
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I want to start off by emphasizing that being single is for a season, it is not a crime. Many people struggle with their singleness because they find themselves confined by timelines. Some of these timelines are self-induced, others are societal, cultural, social, economic, or family induced. You don’t have to limit yourself to the realm of time, God controls times and seasons, his time is the best. You have to get with his program to enjoy divine timing.
Like I’ve said before, I’ve been a hopeful romantic since I was a young girl. I loved the idea of love, I loved the idea of fairytales, I daydreamed about my knight in shining armor day and night. It didn’t help that I was obsessed with romance novels as a teenager, the words from those novels facilitated my endless dreams of loving and being loved.
As I grew older, I began to add timelines to my dreams. I am sure, some people reading this can relate. According to my timeline, I’d go to high school and meet my sweetheart, we’d be in a long-term relationship and be the best of friends, we’d most likely attend the same college and withstand the tests of time, after graduation we’d have great job offers waiting for us, we’d get married, purchase our first home, have children within a couple of years and live happily ever after.
As time passed, I kept readjusting my timelines until I got fed up. I realized that I was unconsciously manipulating situations to meet up with my timeline. This meant that I would settle and ignore red flags because I was determined to get married without understanding God’s strategy for marriage. To someone reading this, God wants you to be assured, he has you covered, your times and seasons, are in his hands! Resist the temptation to rush the process, he restores and redeems, no time is wasted when trusting him and allowing him to lead you completely!
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You may be wondering, How do I know when it is time? The best way to answer that question is to take a journey to the beginning of time, where it all started. God had an extraordinary vision that was motivated by pure love. This vision had never been conceived before, so he had to be creative and get to work. He partnered with the other members of the trinity because no mighty vision can be accomplished alone. Creating the human race was the object of his affection, his goal was to empower them to rule the Earth. He went above and beyond to create the Earth with intricate details, ensuring that the human race had every single thing needed to rule like him!
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Shortly after, the object of God’s affection was designed; the man first and then the woman. The study of the emergence of humanity on the scene is so amazing. The man was created as a complete individual. God himself established him supplying his basic needs and giving him the seeds need to replicate the same results. He also dictated his life’s assignment to him, letting him know that he was created for a reason. He did not have to reinvent the wheel, he just had to cultivate and keep what God had created.
God further went on to give him instructions for life, to protect him, and not to limit him. As God observed man’s diligence with his work, he knew that he needed help, a counterpart, someone suitable and complementary to his greatness. God presented various creatures to Adam, he was able to correctly identify and place them, he was sensitive enough to know that there was a difference between an animal and a woman. He was aware of what he needed, so he waited. He needed someone who could rule with him, not something to rule over.
In his waiting season, he trusted God. The wait was over when he rested. The master creator performed a miracle, he did not go outside of man, he brought forth his helper from within him. God formed the woman from his rib. A rib is a portion of the ribcage that supports, strengthens, assists with the protection of vital organs, and helps with alignment, causing the individual to stand upright. A rib must be unbroken to function properly.
The woman was formed by God himself, she had to go through the process of becoming. She started as a rib but was made complete and then presented to the man in due time. The man was alerted about the end of his waiting season and when he saw the woman he was able to correctly name her because he had a track record of hearing from and partnering with God. He identified the woman as his helper by perception, it was not physical, it was divine. He knew that this masterpiece was part of him, not beneath him.
The woman trusted God and was patient in her waiting season. She allowed him to make her, and she grew as she interacted with her maker. He was the first one to define her, and she took the reference of her true identity from him. She knew that she also had a purpose, she knew that she was strong as she was created from a bone, she knew that she was needed, she knew that she did not have to settle because she was a solution to one of Earth’s challenges. She was built with an intuition that had been accustomed to the voice of her maker, she knew when it was time so when the man proposed forever and called her woman, she obliged because her father was already named her, she was just responding to her reality.
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Now back to the question, How do I know when it is time? From above you see that it was a process.
- A genuine relationship with God first
- God revealing one’s self to him or her
- A personal walk with God
- The ability to hear from God
- Discovery of purpose
- Being at the right place at the right time
- A time of preparation
- Being led by God to the one prepared for you
- Making a commitment based on an agreement
When the time is right, you will know. It goes beyond just having peace because when emotions are involved, you can have pseudo peace. God will alert you, remember marriage is his idea, his plan works best when followed closely. Now, God is not limited to time, when he alerts you the other party has to be ready. If not, the natural timing may be delayed but God’s Word stands true. I remember when God told me that he was preparing me for marriage, I already started hearing wedding bells in my head only for them to ring in real-time three years later.
The process is just as significant as the desired result. How you handle your single season will determine how your marriage season will play out. See it as taking prerequisites for an advanced degree program. How you do in your prerequisite courses will determine if you qualify to apply and be admitted into the advanced degree program. During your single seasons, get acquitted with God and become unrepentantly in love with him, trust his process, and thoroughly enjoy yourself!
I remember when I met my husband, our plan was for us to court and get married later on that year. We took time to pray and God told us to get married earlier. It made no natural sense, we both were not working at the time, we had just gotten out of relationships a few months prior, my family was out of the country and they never met him…yet we got married within six months and everything came together because it was the right timing!
Doing the wrong thing at the right time WRONG! Just as much as doing the right thing at the wrong time is WRONG! That’s why you have to know the creator’s voice, so you can be at the right place at the right time, doing the right thing at the right time!
What stood out to you from today’s post? What did you see for the first time or see differently?
For my married readers, kindly share some wisdom below!
With lots of love,
– Bunmi Adebiyi
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