7 Things that I’ve learned in 7 years of Marriage!

Hello everyone!

I’d like to take out this time to welcome you to my blog, thanks for stopping by!!! Relax, sit back and enjoy your time here.

For my ever loyal readers, I love you! Thanks for always reading, commenting, sharing and encouraging me! Ya’ll rock!

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On July 27, 2020, my husband and I celebrated 7 years of marriage! Yup, we made it to 7 years on the 27th day of the 7th month in the year 2020...I have a thing for numbers! That’s prophetic, it is going to be a great year!!!

Throughout that day, I kept thinking, “Thank God we made it!”

The way we met was divine and our journey in marriage has been interesting. Like many journeys in life, there has been ups and downs, delays and victories, good times and not so good times.

It has been a journey filled with great learning experiences, revelations of deep matters,  healing moments, and a compelling passion to love and be loved.

The number 7 symbolizes perfection. After God completed creation, he rested on the 7th day because his plan had been perfected!

Marriage is often said to be a union of two imperfect people; I would like to add that it is a union of two imperfect people who learn how to rely on a perfect God. Because marriage is God’s idea! Marriage done the right way is done God’s way.

In this seventh year, I’ve come to understand that perfection in marriage is a process of maturity not the flawlessness of the individuals involved…after all no one is perfect.

Below, I’ve listed what I’ve learned in seven years of marriage!

1. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Just like the process of planting and growing roses, a good marriage takes diligence: getting your hands dirty, survival through the scorching sun and downpours of rain and separation from thorns. The process won’t be sweat-less but the beauty and fragrance of the roses makes it worth it.

2. In marriage, there are battles to fight. The key is to identify your true opponent and nullify him. The devil hates marriage and he will attempt to manipulate things, people, situations, and circumstances with the aim to get you off track. Don’t fall for it!

3. Attack the problem, not the person. The understanding of oneness in marriage is profound and very significant. Many times, when issues arise it is easier to point fingers instead of pointing out and dealing with the issue.

4. We are handed blueprints through premarital counsel before marriage, it is up to the individuals in the marriage to build upon what they’ve learned. Your marriage is as beautiful as you make it. You gotta put in real work to make it work! A skyscraper takes significantly more time and effort to build in comparison to a one story house. It is your choice, build wisely.

5. In marriage, there are processes of development for both husband and wife. No one is born a great spouse. Each party has to commit to unlearning negative process, learning and understanding one another at various stages, in different areas and during different seasons. It is in growing through these processes that greatness evolves.

6. Friendship is key, it is the bedrock of a good marriage. Often times, our expectations can be unrealistic. We must refuse the temptation to be unforgiving, hard on one another, and making out marriage to be like a contract based on strict terms versus a covenant based on unconditional love. You’ll be exposed to the good, bad and ugly sides of your spouse. Marriage is a balancing act in which you must learn to love ALL of the other person

7. Cry out for help when you need it!!! Refuse to fake it! Seeking marriage counseling is wise. Get Godly counsel from someone or people that you both respect. People that truly love you both and will not be biased with their advice. There is always a temptation to isolate or “protect one another”, however, failing to get help only leads to you hurting yourself and incurring damage.

It is one of the best things that we did in our own marriage. I am forever grateful to our spiritual parents and mentors. Every time I reached out for help, I always felt lighter and more empowered. Through their counsel, burdens were lifted and clarity came. I realized that marital challenges may not discriminate, but the good news is that I had the help of the Holy Spirit within me to overcome them and come out stronger!

And that’s my 7 cents!

Is our marriage perfect? Definitely not! Is there still room for improvement? Absolutely!

But in this seventh year, my goal is stability, entering into a place of rest…leaving trivial things for more significant things.   LET’S GET IT!!!

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Thanks for reading! My prayer is that this post will be an encouragement to those experiencing a rough time in their marriage and a preparatory tool for those that desire marriage!

Now over to you readers, what stood out to you? If married, what have you learned in your marriage? If single, what are some of your concerns! Your feedback makes a difference, I love reading from you!

Meet our beautiful girls, Toluwani Eden (right), Temiloluwa Samantha (left) and Tiaraoluwa Gabriella (center).

Pictures by the talented @samuelsowunmi check him out his work on Instagram and book him!