Dear Bunmi (part 2)

 

 

Hello there!

Welcome to this space! If you missed my last post, I started a new series titled “Dear Bunmi”. It is a series that addresses myself at various stages in my life in retrospect.  The aim of this series is to encourage people going through similar issues and phases. It is a reminder that tough times don’t last. It is not over until it is good! You either win or learn!

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I wish I knew what I knew now, back then”?

I have been at that junction way too many times. However, I have made up my mind to enjoy each moment and aim to grow through tough times. I want to live a life of no regrets with the determination to seek and apply wisdom at each stage. I want to do my best and be my best every single day! What about you?

Below is the second installment of a letter to the teenage me, enjoy!

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Dear Bunmi,

This is a very sensitive time in your life, you are at a crossroad between childhood and adulthood. Discussions made now are critical, but no pressure…you will make mistakes…it is okay, don’t beat yourself up! You wanting to be perfect and mistake-free is unrealistic, give yourself a break. It is not that serious! Aim for excellence, aim for growth, aim for learning new ways of doing things. You are not a mistake or an afterthought. Don’t allow the voices of low self-esteem to drown out your true identity.

You were created in the image of God- pure perfection! Flaws and all, you are perfect in God’s eyes. You are the object of his affection and he is always rooting for you. So, when life happens, don’t look down in disappointment, look up in expectation for bigger and better opportunities. God has your back, front, and center. He holds you in the palm of his hands, he Is never far away…he is in you to guide you and lead you along the way. Trust him…he won’t let you down.

A lot of things are changing so fast- from school to your body…it is a part of the process. You may not be able to control certain situations, but you can control how you respond to them. Yes, I know, your hormones are raging, it is so confusing…it is bad, but it feels so good, there’s a disconnect! It hurts, the confusion is overwhelming, and you feel like you’re drowning. There is nothing wrong with you! The feelings and desires are normal…you don’t have to give in or throw in the towel, all you need is a relationship with true love, true love will help you to overcome the temptations…the porn…the masturbation. I see your tears, but they can only take you so far…if only you could open your heart and allow true love to come in.

Yes, I know you’re afraid, you don’t want to be hurt…you’re defensive and ashamed. You don’t want you “good girl” reputation to be tarnished. You feel like NO ONE will understand but trust me…you are not alone! Boys oh boys, what an interesting species!  For some reason you can’t seem to get their attention, you want it one minute then you dread it the next…you don’t feel worthy of it. Plus, you wouldn’t know what to do with it. You just desire a deep friendship and could do without the hugs, kisses and ungodly rendezvous. After all, you’re petrified, God will punish you and your parents will kill you. So instead, you have accepted low self-esteem as your companion, after all, you don’t think you’re pretty or smart or unique…you are comfortable with being unnoticed. Any ounce of attention paralyzes you. You love being a loner, your solitude is where you feel most safe.

That is no way to live, you were created to fulfill a purpose and you need to interact with people on various levels to do so. Be bold, stop hiding in your comfort zone. You’re suffocating because that is not really you! You know deep down inside that the roles that you act out in your imagination is the real you…bold, unashamed, beautiful and strong…that’s you Bunmi! No, you don’t have to follow the crowd…it is okay to stand out…don’t sell yourself cheap, you are valuable. Lust is cheap, choose love. Love is eternal, it will last forever. God is love, and he is the only one that could deliver you from the mess.

At school, I see that you find it hard to fit in. The cool kids are fashionable and attractive, and you feel like you can’t even come close to their standards. Well, you’re right! You were never created to be an insignificant member of a squad, you were born to lead and gather people from various backgrounds together for a purpose. Remember that random glimpse that you caught of yourself speaking to a multitude of people. You were standing on a stage and all you could see was a sea of multicolored heads, hold on to the picture…that is your destiny. Don’t worry it will make sense later.

Once you make that decision to come into union with LOVE, everything changes…you will have challenges but be rest assured, you will overcome with love on your side.

 

Until next time, don’t give up! Keep your head up!

 

1 John 4:18 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.