Hello awesome readers!!! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!
In today’s post, I continue the Dear Bunmi series. It is a series that addresses myself at various stages in my life in retrospect. The aim of this series is to encourage people going through similar issues and phases. It is a reminder that tough times don’t last. It is not over until it is good! You either win or learn!
*****
Dear Bunmi,
Yes, I am back. Don’t mean to be a bother. Good news first, you completed your summer pre-college program! Whoa! You did that! Aced those classes, you met new people, didn’t miss home too much! You’re ready for the real deal. Above all, you learned valuable lessons, learned how to live with different types of people; learned how not to judge people by eternal means instead taking time out to know them, talk to them, ask questions, learn about their past, their strengths, their dreams, their challenges…it gives you a rounded perspective and stops you for being judgemental.
You will learn much more about how to deal with people during your collegiate journey. It won’t always be easy, you’ll make mistakes, you’ll be shocked, disappointed and sometimes hurt. People come with different shapes and sizes of baggage. You must learn how to accept that person for who they are as you believe the best of them and love them nonetheless. Don’t allow people to weight you down with their baggage; you are not responsible for carrying that weight. It is only Jesus that can carry everyone’s burdens and not get overwhelmed; you will come to discover this in time.
*******
So your boyfriend is still in the picture even after a few weeks and some distance, yet you can’t seem to align your feelings with his and make them mutual. You’re more in love with the idea of being in love than the reality that your current love situation is one-sided. You’ve tried to convince yourself that he is a good guy with great dreams, yet you can’t seem to articulate those dreams. Instead, you focus on #doingitfortheculture, he is Nigerian and this is new to you. He can teach you a thing or two…your former mode of watching Nollywood movies to learn more about your culture is kind of played out.
The red flags are staring you in your face, yet you choose to disregard them, instead, you have chosen to ‘hold on to a ray of hope’. Hoping that he would magically turn into the guy of your dreams. You will learn that you can not single-handily change people; change is a choice, it is a personal decision. And to be sincere, people tend to prefer comfort over change. Zones of comfort are more welcoming than zones of discomfort that often accompany change. Yet change is necessary for progress, so focus on constantly upgrading to a better version of yourself instead of attempting to change someone else.
If when you think of someone, and all you can phantom is how he/she can do and be better and how their lack of progress is affecting you, then it is time to reconsider that relationship. You will officially become a full-time college student and that is a big deal. He is attending a technical college, which isn’t bad but you really don’t know what his goals are; and deep down inside, it doesn’t sit well with you but you shake it off because at least he is school and has a little job. Life is much more than degrees, titles, and occupations, it is about purpose, if it is not clear in your relationship, things will surely fall apart. Then comes avoidable heartbreaks and painful disappointments.
Do you truly love him or are you in love with the idea of being in ‘love’?
If you can relate to the things written above, I want you to know that I understand how you feel. It is okay, don’t feel bad. It is okay to be at that point now, but you don’t have to stay there. Confusion, doubt, shame, and depression do not have to be your companions; they’re the worse company to have. Breakup with those emotions and choose to be happy and free. You have the power to create the type of life that you’ve always desired. That power becomes activated when you make the decision to come into the right relationship with the right person.
Click here to find out more: SAY YES!
With lots of love,
– Bunmi Adebiyi
Wait before you go:
1. If you have not received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, life won’t make any sense, it will be cold and empty. You deserve more! Take a few minutes and click on the ‘Say Yes’ tab at the top of the page and be saved!
2. Please leave a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!
3. You can subscribe to this blog and receive email updates once a new post is published by entering your email address in the ‘Follow by email’ section located on the right of this post.
4. Follow me on twitter @BunmiAdebiyi_
5. Like my page on facebook: Bunmi Adebiyi
6. Follow me on Instagram: destinationdestinyblog
Purchase my book LUST IS BLIND:
Ebook: https://goo.gl/jKj4un
Paperback: https://goo.gl/\ETo7hz
Or on the OkadaBooks App: https://okadabooks.com/book/about/lust_is_blind/25426
*For autographed books, contact author: http://www.destinationdestiny7@gmail.com*
Leave a comment